|Share Your Slide of Life|
On my way to pick up my son, I decided to stop for gas. As I stood there, in the frigidly cold wind, holding the pump - my car has an inverted gas tank so I have to stand there the whole time holding the pump upside down - I watched the parade of cars and trucks and trailers streaming by. I've always been fascinated by the comings and goings at gas stations, wondering where each person was hoping their full tank of gas would take them!
These musings brought to mind the road trips my ex-husband and I used to take, filling up our tank and ice chest at the gas station. We used to pack the trailer and truck, load up Sammy Sue and Saint, and just take off, driving as far as our tank of gas would take us! With a portable house, we used to set down roots wherever we could find a place to park: along the banks of the Colorado River, nestled among the pines in North Woods, the Safeway parking lot in Carmel!
Reminiscing about our previous road trips made me miss being married; not that I miss my ex-husband who, by the way, isn't my son's father, but that is usually the first thing people ask when I talk about my ex-husband, so I thought I would get that out in the open! What I do miss is having someone to share my life with; the little moments like holding hands, grocery shopping, or keeping each other's feet warm under the blankets. I miss having someone to help carry life's burdens and pay the bills; someone to lean on and to laugh with.
As much as I miss having a significant other, though, I don't think I'm ready to find one! As a single mom, all my time and attention go to my young son (and my dogs), and I don't think I'm ready to share myself! After long days of tending to, caring for, and loving my three children, I barely have enough energy left to pop the cork on a bottle of wine and write my blog posts!
I'm also afraid of starting over. At 43, I've been through the first dates and the no call-backs and long-term break-ups; I've started over more times than I care to count. I am enjoying the freedom that comes with being single, and I get to raise my son the way I see fit. So, for now, I'll leave my reverie at the gas station pump because I have a four-year old to pick up, feed, and get to bed. And, if I'm still awake, a glass of wine to drink while I write my Slice of Life!