Tuesday, April 15, 2014

My First Child Doesn't Walk on Two Legs

Most of my blog posts are written about my son and being a single mom to him. But, before he was even a thought in my mind, I had a child! She wasn't born from my womb, but I couldn't love her more if she had been! So, here's a blog post dedicated to my first child, my first baby: Sammy Sue...


Sitting here in our backyard with Sammy Sue, I think about the years I spent mourning the loss of being a mother. After three years of trying and three miscarriages, my marriage ended. Already pushing my late thirties, starting over seemed impossible. I would never find someone, have enough time to get to know him, and be able to get pregnant before the inevitable "clock" wound down. But, as fate would have it, I was wrong, and now that I am a mother in the traditional sense, I can't help but realize I had always been a mother!

As I sit here brushing Sammy Sue's fur, I can't help but wonder what makes a mother? When does one become a mother, and to whom do we mother? Thinking back on our years together, I realize Sammy Sue gave me everything I needed to be a mom: someone to love, someone to care for, and, at times, someone to discipline :-)

Reaching farther back into my mothering memory bank, I realize I was a mother to countless birds that visited my backyard bird feeders; I mothered the plants that needed my care and attention; hell, I even mothered the little rollie pollies on my morning walks, as I tenderly scooped them up from the sidewalk and placed them safely in the grass.

Mothering isn't just about birthing a child, it is about giving a part of you to everything you've ever cared for; it's about leaving this world a little brighter, a little safer, and a little more beautiful than how we found it.

Since this is a blog post dedicated to my Sammy Sue, here are some of my favorite pictures of her...






Slice of Life Tuesdays

16 comments:

  1. I love this post. I've always wanted to be a mother "in the traditional sense" but it hasn't worked out...Thank you for your thoughts! Thank you for your words! You've offered comfort...so much comfort! I'm grateful!! I found your blog through Leigh Anne's blog: http://adayinthelifeof19b.blogspot.com/2014/04/it-just-so-happens.html So glad you're blogging and sharing!!! :)

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    1. Hi Michelle, thank you for your comment! I read Leigh Anne's post; it was very touching! I feel honored that I was part of her Slice of Life :-)

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  2. I think your story will resonate with a lot of people. Keep writing and keep sharing!

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    1. Thanks so much, Michele! I appreciate your encouragement :-)

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  3. I am so glad to see your slice today! I am convinced you have so much to share! I did not see your link on Two Writing Teachers so I took it upon myself to link it for you - I hope you don't mind! Welcome to an amazing writing community!

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    1. Thanks so much, Leigh Anne! I tried to link it in a comment but after it was "waiting for moderation", it disappeared :-( And, thanks for stopping by, again :-)

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    2. You are right - the first time requires approval. It shouldn't after this. Oh well, now it is on there twice! :)

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    3. Oh, is it on there twice! I didn't even notice :-) But, I appreciate you sharing me, just in case!

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  4. Sammy Sue is adorable and so patient to allow you to dress her up. Being a mom is about caring and nurturing, sounds like you've been a mom a long time. Welcome to slicing and sharing your stories.

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    1. Hi Elsie, my niece had actually dressed Sammy Sue up and Sammy Sue picked up the binkie all on her own. I just got lucky enough to capture it :-) She is very patient, though!

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  5. Never having had any children but having had several cats I agree that parenting is loving and caring for someone (in my case cats) who needs you to provide shelter, food, and most importantly, love. Glad Leigh Anne shared your link.

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    1. I feel like I am in the unique position to understand both sides of this scenario! I'm so glad you have furry children, because they are just as important :-)

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  6. I had a similar experience. We had trouble having kids and had a dog as our first child. They are your babies, your family members. Now as our kids get older and don't need us in the same way we have a cat that is taking on that mothering need: "someone to love, someone to care for, and, at times, someone to discipline "
    So glad Leigh Anne got you here in SOL. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. Thanks for the warm welcome, Julieanne! I am glad Leigh Anne got me to SOL, too :-)

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  8. So my comment is better late than never. A beautiful, heartfelt post - keep writing.

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